Monday, June 11, 2012

Well, hello!

Welcome to my blog. This is my first attempt at blogging in the home building/decor/crafty-foshizzle arena.

I'm a 40 something gal married to my high school sweetheart. We have 3 grown daughters and 2 dogs. I have a shoe collection that rivals Carrie Bradshaw's older/fatter sister. I like big hair bands and show tunes. I like not-too-shabby, yet chic decor. I love to sew and adore painting furniture, even though it makes my husband cringe (my love for painted wood, not my sewing). I love to cook and look forward to being my future grandchildren's favorite Grandma. I hate camping and asparagus.

I grew up in the city and have only been to a farm once, when I was in pre-school. They had to call my dad to come pick me up because I was sure the horse wanted to kill me. I am deathly afraid of farm animals, although they are mighty delicious when cooked the right way. But I do love barns! Odd. I find it difficult to sleep without hearing sirens, airplanes, and the occasional cry for help.

I like strappy sandals and somewhat slutty-chic clothing. I do not own a pair of jorts and I never wear gym shoes. I have never been on a tractor, because my husband is sure I will kill/seriously maim myself, and let's be honest- 3 inch heels for prosthetic limbs are hard to come by.

Even though I am a city girl, I have never been "green". I rarely recycle. I know, I know, shame on me. Whatever. A girl can much so that our new house will be fairly green. As in recycled barn wood, very energy efficient appliances, and a geothermal thing-y. Heck, I thought "geothermal" was some fancy name for hideous long underwear. Who knew?

Yes, yes, I know that to be truly green, I would be re-habbing an exisiting house instead of building a new one on 40 acres and not cutting down trees for my driveway. Cut me some slack. We are going to be using some of the wood for our home. And, most of the trees were "junk trees", full of vines that were killing the "good" trees. Justification? Probably. Yes. But once that is done, we will be attempting to be good somewhat decent earth people, although I will never use re-usable grocery bags, because I am a germaphobe.

"We have a pool and a pond...the pond would be good for you"

I eventually want to plant some fruit trees, some berry patches, and perhaps even a few bee hives. Wait. Does one "plant" bee hives? Not sure, but I am looking into it, you know, because it is a farm, and I have to do something "farm-like". I like to think I will be making fruit preserves to give to my family and friends, even though I have never canned anything in my life, other than a few employees and boyfriends. Oops. Our farm will have no animals, though, other than our dogs. The thought of little chickens flying around and pecking my eyes out terrifies me. Wait. Do chickens fly? I know their wings are delicious with hot sauce. ;)

It really is going to be like "Green Acres", but with less diamonds and without the sexy accent Lisa Douglas had. Oh, and I don't think Lisa Douglas liked to cuss, so fair warning- Faux Pas Farm Gal has a $%^& mouth like a sailor. I will try to put a lid on the bad words.

My husband will be the general contracter as we build our home. I designed the floor plan, and we are going for a country-farmhouse with a southern/low country feel to it. The slab for one of the outbuildings has been poured, and we are meeting with our architect this week for him to get the ball rolling on our plans. We are really excited to begin this process. I hope you join us and feel free to give your opinions on my ideas for our new home as I post them.

So this post gives you a rough idea about me. My husband likes the country. I like the city. But, we like each other most of the time, and this is the beginning of a new chapter in our life together. It is going to be very long as he doesn't run over me with his tractor.

Tractor Dan...with a wagon to haul my corpse....


  1. This should be quite an adventure! I can't wait to see this dream of yours (and Tractor Dan's!) come together.

  2. Welcome to blogging! Your future country home sounds like a lot of fun! Good luck !!!

  3. Welcome to blogland!! You are quite the hoot so I'm thinking this is going to be a fun ride! I have a Dan and a tractor named Big Blue so I think our husbands would get along well. The best of luck in this journey and look forward to watching your vision come to life!


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